Clinton readies "My Life" sequel

Funny story written by Doug Powers

Thursday, 2 September 2004

image for Clinton readies "My Life" sequel
Satellite photo of the 984,264 page manuscript for "My Life II: Electric Boogaloo"

Former President Bill Clinton has completed the manuscript for the follow-up to his successful memoir "My Life."

Hot on the heels of Clinton's first book comes "My Life II: Electric Boogaloo."

The short-awaited sequel is said to address some of the more controversial areas of Clinton's life. For example, one chapter is entitled, "The word 'is': Third person singular present indicative of the verb 'be', or two lettered legal stall tactic?"

There are also frank discussions of sexuality, as Clinton addresses how his marriage to Hillary has been marred by a series of extra-marital affairs. Clinton writes, "What is it about the charismatic, rugged masculine quality that seems to attract so many women? Also, what attracts them to me?"

Perhaps the most interesting section of the book is contained within the several pages of photos where Clinton personally takes readers on a tour of the secret meeting room of the now defunct Arkansas State Troopers' elite "Skank Corps" trailer chick procurement team.

Another bombshell in the monstrous tome is the revelation that Hugh Rodham was not a morbidly obese brother-in-law, but rather a highly skilled intern smuggler. According to Clinton, Hugh Rodham is actually a 130 pound man, who could push 350 to 400 pounds when his shirt and pants were fully stuffed with girls he was sneaking into the Oval Office as an offering for Clinton.

Due to its size, "My Life II: Electric Boogaloo" will only be available at aircraft hangars and indoor driving ranges.

Interested in learning more on this subject? Check out your local library for these fine books:

"Why don't you just raise your price?" President Clinton Teaches Business Owners Economically Sound Ways to Fight High Taxes - Bradley, 1994

The Starr Report - Starr, 1999

Denise Rich, Eleanor Mondale, Jane Doe #5, etc. - A Complete List of Every Woman Bill Clinton's Described As Having "Bodacious Wambo's" - Richards, 1998

Slouching Towards Gonorrhea: Robert Bork Examines The Clinton Years - Herpe Press, 2002

From Trailer Park to Gorky Park: How A Boy From Arkansas Ended Up In Russia - Alvarez, 1997

Dorf on Politics - Robert Reich, 1999

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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