Consumer Group Claims Sue Sue Pets Contain High Levels of Animosity

Funny story written by Adam Click

Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Consumer Group Claims Sue Sue Pets Contain High Levels of Animosity
The "Rabid Sue Sue Pet" will be bigger and nastier than it's hamster-sized predecessor.

Washington, D.C.-A leading consumers group says that the latest children's gift fad,"Sue Sue Pets", contain high levels of animosity and are therefore unsafe.

"The small, fur covered, animatronics based toy, which appear to be soft and cuddly, are in reality, vicious creatures which come in iron clad cages and may take months to tame, if they are tame-able at all.", the group claims.

"We are talking about near suicidal creatures which would just as soon kill you as look at you." said spokesman Herbert Long. "It's the height of irresponsibility on behalf of this company to even think about marketing such a despicable toy."

Company product engineer, Gilbert, whose last name is being withheld by request, explained the rational behind the company's offering: ""Sue Sue Pets" are a unique, family oriented product, which are designed to appeal to both children and adults."

"The toy creature's slow learning curve is part of the product's appeal. You start off with this crazed beast which you keep in this highly secured environment, and slowly but surely, over a period of months, or years, you tame them until they start taking food out of your hand without biting it off. It's fun!"

Demand for the product remains high despite the groups warnings, prompting the company to begin production of an improved "Sue Sue Pet", "The Rabid Sue Sue Pet". The new product will foam at the mouth and display erratic behavior just like a real rabid animal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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