The Whiners new nonprofit group growing fast

Funny story written by Aspartame Boy

Sunday, 1 November 2009

image for The Whiners new nonprofit group growing fast
'How come I can't have a white woman.' remarks a Whiner during a recent 'Whine Me'

DENVER, CO - According to General Accounting Office spokesperson, Mr. Noe I. Tall, the fastest growing nonprofit corporation in American today is a relatively new group called The Whiners. This group has nothing to do with the Shriners, a well established organization helping children with hospitals; but there are some similarities: hence the similar name.

The Whiners encourage free expression by child like people. According to Whiner Dr. Alex W. Hiney, founder of the group, most childish adults are shot down by other more 'mature' people and made to feel like pariahs.

This can in turn make them act out in horrible ways, causing a vicious feedback loop that often ends in disaster, or worse. The Whiners encourage frank, open whining in special sessions called 'Whine Me's', best typified by the knee whackee plaintive cry of "Why ME????" No thought is ever given to 'political correctness', nor to literary quality.

'Whine Me's' are always conducted in public places, such as parks (Hyde park is a favorite location). Participants dress in clown suits which, according to Dr. Hiney, helps facilitate the process and usually alerts the sometimes concerned public that some kind of special event is underway, and not to take all the whining too seriously.

The group has raised a lot of money by publishing the transcripts of the sessions in forums such as All money is donated to buy aspartame for children's psychiatric hospitals, where many of the Whiners 'volunteer' their time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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