Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

image for Serena Williams' Tennis Tirade Costs Her $82,500
The spot on the tennis court where Serena Williams fell. If you look real close at the bottom left, you will see two cracks.

FLUSHING MEADOWS, New York - Tennis sensation Serena Williams has just been hit with an $82,500 fine for her profane outburst during this years U.S. Open.

The 28-year-old Williams carried on like a spoiled brat after she was called for a foot fault by the Korean lines-woman judge.

Serena proceeded to call the line judge Soo Sun Moon Too about 18 vile profanities.

The judge just sat there smiling, mostly since she does not understand English. But the other people around her certainly understood and all of their mouths dropped open.

Serena, which is Cheyenne for squaw with thighs the size of Volkswagen Beetles, continued with her blasphemous diatribe.

It seemed like Serena was actually going down the alphabet because she called Soo Sun Moon Too an a******, a b****, a c*** and so on.

One of the U.S. Open officials finally went up to Williams and told her to stop acting the way she was. He told her that she was in Flushing Meadows and not in her hometown of Saginaw, Michigan.

With that remark Serena turned her filthy-mouthed invectives towards the official. She called him a little white punk with a crotch bulge the size of a cashew.

He told her to shut her smutty mouth. Williams then told him that he looked like Woody Allen, but only skinnier, stupider, and smellier.

The official called a security guard over. He immediately told Williams to put down the racket and to step away from the net.

She looked at him and flexed her biceps and said that she could take him and body slam him onto the court with very little effort.

"Really?" He asked.

"Really, you honky-faced cracker-lookin' punk."

The security guard took out a can of pepper spray and told her to shut her [N-WORD DELETED BY EDITOR] mouth. Serena just laughed and told him that he did not have the tennis balls to spray her because after all she was Serena Williams and he was just [LOOKING AT HIS NAME TAG] Waldo Lazbuddie.

"Don't push me girl."

"I ain't no girl, you cracker chump. And I can eat sissy-boys like you for breakfast."


"Stop! stop! stop!"

The security guard yelled out that he could not hear her.


Serena fell to the court. And talk about a loud as hell thump. Williams tips the scales at 297 and has a pair of thighs that make Mike Tyson's thighs look like he's anorexic.

When Williams hit the tennis court she hit with such a force that the first two rows of people actually shook a little bit.

The ball girl noticed that Serena left two cracks on the court where she landed.

EMS was called and they treated her at the scene. As she was being carried away to the ambulance, Waldo Lazbuddie went up and asked her if she wanted a little salt to go with the pepper.

Williams pooched out her industrial lips and did not say a word.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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