President Obama announced that there will be a new tax on cattle farming due to huge volumes of carbon emission by cattle. He said that it was almost impossible to stop the animals farting, but it might be possible to push the cattle farmers into financial trouble in order to reduce the number of farms.
"We are not going to stand still and watch the cattle farting the planet away" said an irate Obama at the International Climate Conference in Copenhagen.
The details of the new tax are sketchy but it is widely expected that it would be based on the number of times an animal would break wind in a month. There will be special equipment installed in cattle farms to monitor and to record fartings.
Mrs Tomlinson of Ohio, a farmer's wife said to our reporter that the new tax would be very unpopular in the area as their manfolk are keen on beans and the fart monitors would not differentiate between an animal and human fart. She said:
"I think I'm speaking for most of the women in this town, when I say that we do not want to pay tax for our husbands farting. It is smelly and disgusting as it is anyway. No one would like to pay tax for it."