Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson get scared straight

Funny story written by howy

Saturday, 31 October 2009

image for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson get scared straight

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were booked in the Los Angles county jail for drunk driving. Lohan complains that jail is an alien world filled with unspeakable horrors.

Upon entering jail Lohan says she was photographed and then transferred to a dressing room where a lipstick lesbian stood guard over her while she changed into standardized jail clothing.

She was then transferred to a room with other women. There were two female officers in the room inspecting the bodies of the women. Using psychological tactics on the inmates, one female officer said "It's time to pull out your ding dong boys." The females were asked to squat and then cough. Lohan said it was extremely humiliating for the women.

During her first night in jail she was separated from Ronson and she was placed in a cell with six black women who were constantly monitoring her movements waiting for her to go to sleep.

She says during the night when the lights went out she heard a woman screaming from a distant cell. The yells were dreadful and ghastly. She observed several women wake up exited, trying to listen to the commotion. One woman said, "They're bringing down a fresh tomboy!"

Lohan said she screamed out at several inmates across her cell saying, "I think that might be my friend Ronson; what are they doing to her." A female inmate in the adjacent cell told her, "I heard down the grape vine that four women that were stripped were scarring a newbie into turning masculine."

Lohan then said she placed her hands over her face and said, "My God!' 'My God!' 'What kind of hell are we in.'"

Lohan tells me that she doesn't plan on breaking the law anymore because women's jail is a terrible experience.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more