In one of the most stunning announcements in recent media history it has been revealed that Rush Limbaugh is not Rush Limbaugh at all but is an ex stand up comic named Joel Epstein! "He's a skinny little Jewish guy" exclaimed the source for this article.
When news of the hoax leaked one of Epstein's staff came forward with the details. Evidentally, a crew of seven arrive at Epstein's (AKA LImbaugh) house each morning at four AM to transpose Epstein (AKA LImbaugh) into a large, fat, jowly, pig of a person before he leaves the house. It takes a hundred pounds of makeup, shoe lifts, and padding to complete the transformation.
"You woudn't know in a million years it was Joel" stated the source. The news has rocked the media world and millions of Epstein's (AKA Limbaugh) supporters. "They are angry, hurt, and frustrated" said a spokesman for Media Watch.
At a hastily called news conference Epstein appeared and spoke to a shocked media. One reporter was heard to say..."Who's the skinny little Jewish guy?"
When Epstein (AKA Limbaugh) started to speak the reporters in the room were non plussed. Epstein explained that indeed Limbaugh was a hoax and now that it had been revealed, he would return to the comedy circuit. A reporter
asked..."But...Mr. Epstein...what about your millions of followers...the ditto heads?"
Epstein repliedl...."Those assholes....they get what they deserve...can you believe that they believed that shit. Let em go to Hannity or Beck....or that jerk off O'Reilly. It's their fucking problem"
As he was about to leave the stage..Mr. Epstein (AKA Limbaugh) stopped and turned to the assembled news media..... "I can tell you this....You're not going to have Rush Limbaugh to kick around any longer" and left.....a skinny little Jewish guy who fooled the world.
As the media quickly left the room to file their stories, Major Garrett of Fox News was heard to say in a whisper and as if to himself........"Rushbo....we hardly knew ye"