Washington - President Obama announced today that his number one priority as president is to make "Health care affordable for all Americans using a simple plan based making frequent hand washing available to all."
Obama was shouted down by Republicans for his new revamped health care proposal despite it being more modest and practical than many expected. Opponents flooded Capitol Hill after the announcement fueled by statements by Rush Limbaugh that "Mandatory hand washing will raise taxes due to the high cost of soap."
Protestors sent a strong message back to the president that Americans have the right to have dirty hands. Many carried placard reading Dirty Hands, Dirty Hands while others defiantly waved dirty hands intentionally soiled with mud and grease over their heads in the air shouting "America, America."
Senator McCain says hand washing will not work in the US even though there is good evidence that it has worked in England and Canada. "This is just the first step towards socialized bathing. Americans should have the right to bathe whenever they choose."
Obama fired back at opposition to his program.
"My opponents have clearly over-reacted. There is ample data supporting the practice of hand washing and its ability to prevent bacteria and infections from spreading causing disease and illness."
Obama has appointed DNC Chairman Tim Kaine as Director of the new Department of Handwashing to get his plan off the ground. Kaine says, "We will start the program in major cities and once people are trained expand it to smaller towns and rural areas."
