"Breathing in" can make you ill

Funny story written by Danny Ross

Friday, 18 September 2009

image for "Breathing in" can make you ill
A scientist tries not breathing.

Breathing in may be bad for your health according to UK scientists, who have shown that breathing in can result in lungs being filled with potentially harmful bacteria.

Test revealed that that air harbours any number of airborne bacteria and spores, some of which can lead to disease, common colds and influenza.

Levels of bacteria in air were found to be much higher than in pure oxygen, reports the National Academy of Inane Science. In the study authors explain why how their findings might explain why people who breathe are prone to falling victim to airborne viruses, which is linked with the high number of people suffering such illnesses after taking frequent breaths.

Lead researcher, Professor Chase Morgan said "we've long known that many diseases and other illnesses are airborne, but until now we had not made the link between people breathing in and illnesses that are carried by air."

When asked if there are any preventative measures that people can take to avoid being exposed to airborne bacteria, Professor Morgan commented that "our research has shown that people who take fewer breathes, inhale less and exhale quickly absorb less bacteria and are less prone to being exposed", adding, "of course the best way to avoid absorbing airborne bacteria through the lungs is simply not to breathe at all, or develop an alternate means of absorbing oxygen into the body, similar to plants, or possibly fish…"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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