Derren Brown Makes David Blaine Disappear

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 13 September 2009

image for Derren Brown Makes David Blaine Disappear
Simba the elephant which magician Derren Brown made disappear from the London Zoo and amazingly appear in the San Deigo Zoo.

LONDON - In what has got to be London-born magician Derren Brown's most amazing magical feat ever, he has managed to make Brooklyn-born magician David Blaine disappear.

Last month at a magic show in Waterloo, Iowa, Blaine tried to make Brown disappear in an Iowa cornfield. But as the cameras panned to the huge tractor box, the viewers could all clearly see that Brown was still standing between the scarecrow and the tractor box.

The U.S. Magicians Federated Fraternity came very close to suspending Blaine's magician's license since he not only failed to make Brown disappear, he also became highly indignant with one of the local fraternity officials.

Blaine reportedly called the magic event organizer Clyde Heathcoat an uneducated, uncooperative, corn syrup-smelling piece of cornhusking dribble hayseed.

Heathcoat became quite upset and told Blaine that he was not uneducated as he had attended The Des Moines Academy of Advanced Cornshucking for one full semester.

Blaine received an $8,000 fine and he was restricted from using his magician's magic wand for two weeks. He was also cautioned to stay at least 50 feet from rabbits, white doves, and colored handkerchiefs.

The famed magician was extremely upset with the ruling and he told the U.S. Magicians Federated Fraternity that he wanted to file a written protest regarding their decision.

Timpano Burntriver, the Fraternity's executive director told Blaine that he could write it all down and personally hand it to him.

Blaine was glad to see that Burntriver was being very cooperative. He sat down and wrote everything out. He then handed it to Mr. Burntriver.

Burntriver read it and in front of Blaine, he tore it up into 32 pieces. Blaine was stunned and shocked. Burntriver smiled and said, "Now...that, my little magician friend is a disappearing act."

SIDENOTE: Since David Blaine was not allowed to practice his magic act for two weeks, he decided to agree to Derren Brown's request to fly to London where Brown would make him disappear before 10,000 Londoners at the famed Dave Clark Five Rugby Stadium.

The disappearing magic act went well. Very well. In fact a spokesperson for the London police stated that they are still searching for the American magician.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more