115-Year-Old Woman Dies Waiting for Health Care Reform

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Saturday, 12 September 2009

image for 115-Year-Old Woman Dies Waiting for Health Care Reform
One less for the President to worry about.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Gerta Blaine lost her battle against death today in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 115, according to the nursing home where she waited for health care reform until her very last breath.

Blaine attributed her longevity to "trying not to let 115 years of crazy shit get to me."

At her 115th birthday party last April, Blaine shook her head in disbelief when she realized Congress still had not managed to reform health care.

"She told me that if she lived another 115 years, those clowns on Capitol Hill would still be dragging their feet," said her doctor last April.

Last November, she became the oldest African-American to vote for President Obama. She was surprised when she received a letter from him on her 115th birthday.

"I actually meant to vote for McCain," she said. "I guess I might be getting a little senile after all."

Nevertheless, she was delighted by the letter, and had planned to vote for Obama in 2012.

Blaine, whose grandparents were slaves, said when she was a child, her health care provider was also the stable veterinarian.

She indicated that, for some people, things really haven't gotten all that much better.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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