New York, Wednesday. In astounding news that nobody could fathom except Gordon Brown, Police announced that US Vice President, Joe Biden, has been kidnapped by a renegade group of Wall Street accountants.
These corporate criminals have asked for a ransom of 150 trillion dollars in exchange for the VP's release and additionally demanded that Wall Street between West 23rd and Fifth Avenue be allowed to secede from the Union.
These outrageous demands have sent shock waves right through the Federal Government and led to claims that Barack Obama set the whole thing up to try and rid himself of this boring individual.
Latest emails from the group, calling themselves the Magnificent Seven, claimed that they would harm the Veep if anything was done to force his freedom.
"We will not hesitate to squeeze his pinky, tickle his tummy or squirt him in the face with water pistol" said the email. Police believe the accountants are threatening further action and have not ruled out the chance of a paint ball attack.
More news evidently.