WEST PALM BEACH, Florida - Local residents, tourists, and a few illegal aliens had the daylights scared out of them as they encountered a big, fat, strange-looking colossal creature in the Lake Worth Lagoon.
Dozens of individuals captured the water wonder with their video cameras as well as with their cell phone cameras.
Rico Missabotti, 51, of Brooklyn described the unknown savage sea serpent as resembling a watery-looking mutant muck monster. His wife Violetta, 49, opined that to her it looked more like an oversized ogre with gigantic nostrils.
Mr. Missabotti's mother-in-law Bitsy Vendalini, 70, said that she was so busy screaming that she cannot even describe it except to say that it looked a lot like some kind of damn trolling troglodyte.
Her husband Pasquale Missabotti, 73, when asked to describe it said that he couldn't because he was much too busy watching all the young women in their Daisy Duke short shorts and little bitty bikini swimsuits to notice.
He did say that he has lived in Brooklyn all his life and that he has never seen so many sexy looking gals in one place.
Marvin Wickersham who is employed as a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Marine Biologist said that from the 63 photos he has seen it appears to him to look somewhat like a gigantic oceanic gargoyle with alligator-like feet, tortoise-like ears, and crocodile tears.
A reporter for West Palm Beach's Channel 98, Mindy Blagojevich (no relation to Rod) interviewed a homeless man Gunther Rittenhouse who was an eye-witness.
Rittenhouse said that he has been hanging around the lagoon for about two years and he has never seen anything as ugly or as diabolical-looking.
He said that it was so horrible and nasty-looking that he would have throw up, but since he is homeless, he has no money to buy food and so therefore there is no way that he could have throw up since he has no food in his stomach to throw up.
Rittenhouse commented "People think that Ann Coulter and Amy Winehouse are scary. Well let me tell you something, those two females ain't got nothing on the atrocious-looking West Palm Beach Lock Ness Monster."
Another homeless person Gretchen Beefbonnet said that she actually went up to within three feet of the creature.
"What did it look like?" She was asked.
"It looked exactly like that fella on the TV who is always badmouthing the president."
"Glenn Beck?"
"No."
"Sean Hannity?"
"No."
"Bill O'Reilly?"
"No."
"Rush Limbaugh?"
"Yeah, Rash Limberger. That's the one. It looked just like him. In fact, I'm a homeless gal, but if I had some money I would bet that it was him.
But he wasn't hurting nobody. He was just swimming underwater, but he did look scary as hell, I will have to say that. Can you give me four dollars?"
SIDENOTE: When the West Palm Beach Police arrived they did manage to apprehend political pundit Rush Limbaugh. He was taken down to police headquarters where he was fingerprinted, photographed, and released on his own recognisance.
