Storms Ravage Midwest, Rape Charges Filed

Funny story written by fisherking

Thursday, 20 August 2009

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Alleged Assailant

Joplin, MO--Summer storms caused flash flooding and millions of dollars of property damage last night. But the destruction apparently was a clever ruse to disguise more sinister intentions: sexual assault.

Marilyn Nieswyde, a partner at the Nieswyde and Reddy lawfirm, described her encounter with the storm.

"I just kept crying 'No, no!' but it wouldn't stop," Nieswyde sobbed, "I'll admit I just had a bikini top on, but that didn't give it the right!"

Nieswyde's partner at the firm, John Reddy, seemed confused by the alleged attack.

"Yeah, it did rain pretty hard. I told her not to drive her Jeep today, but she didn't listen," Reddy said, "If you ask me she was just asking for it."

"Wait," Reddy added, "We are talking about the same thing here, right?"

Police investigators confiscated evidence from the alleged crime scene today, including the clothes Nieswyde was wearing, which were covered in an unidentified fluid. Her alleged attacker was seen leaving the area soon after the incident.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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