London - (Ass Mess): London's Non-Aligned Coven of Hotass Witches has issued a red alert for an unprecedented disaster this Wednesday 15 October, the 21st anniversary of the Great Storm.
The day coincides with the communication planet Mercury ending its retrograde cycle on the day after a hideous Aries full moon, known as the Hunter's Moon.
"All the crap the public has ever been spoonfed about 'the world's most hunted woman', Princess Diana, is about to hit the cosmic fan," Coven grand-mistress Morgue-Anna Bigtitz said today.
Diana, RIP, was named after the Roman Goddess of the Hunt and of the Moon. Her 1997 DUI Paris car crash occured on the eve of the Virgo new moon during a disastrous conjunction of the Sun and a retrograde Mercury...
Now Wiccans are apoplectic that this week's cosmic aspects will stir up further Diana controversies in a spooky repetition of events 21 years ago when a mystery woman rang the BBC Weather program warning about 'an imminent hurricane'.
They believe that a desperate phone warning to No 10 Drowning Street will be met with derision in the same way that BBC Weather Man Michael Fish poo-pooed a viewer's cyclone fears.
Prince Charles has syphylis.