"Blue Eagle" Democrats Fail to Deliver US Postal Service to Oval Office

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for "Blue Eagle" Democrats Fail to Deliver US Postal Service to Oval Office
The Oval Office, so called because it was built in the shape of an oval.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night stayed a House committee from moving President Obama's health care plans one step closer to congressional approval with the passage of key legislation Friday.

The check is in the mail; the vote occurred as members of the House of Representatives were dismissed to the House playground for August recess.

The House Energy and Commerce Committee approved the legislation 31-28 after several days of mostly mind-numbingly boring spats between Democratic House leaders and an influential group of fiscal liberals in the party.

Democrats remain split, with a number of conservatives expressing strong opposition to concessions made to the party's so-called Blue Eagle liberals on the Energy and Commerce Committee.

Conservatives called the Blue Eagles' plan to put the U.S. Postal Service in charge of America's health care a "poorly addressed, badly delivered" plan to administer America's health care needs.

An emergency room visit would have cost just $13.95 under the plan, for anyone, anywhere in the United States, about the cost of shipping a large flat rate box; critics say a typical emergency room wait under the plan would be 3-5 business days.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said House Democrats will now return to their districts and arm themselves against opponents running "a campaign 'gone postal'... to perpetuate the status quo."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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