Family's Prayer for Ailing Father Alerts God to Sinner

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Atlanta, GA - Alvin Stubbins of Atlanta, GA may very well be alive today if it was not for the prayers of his family.

57 year old Stubbins, a factory worker from Stone Mountain went into the hospital for routine surgery for torn ligaments in his knee. It was his second surgery in three years. Tiring of his trips to the hospital and a life on painkillers he asked his family and friends to pray for him.

The obliging family began an aggressive prayer campaign: holding candlelight vigils, midnight prayer meetings and his name was entered on the local church prayer list for the sick and bereaved.

"As far as we can tell, it was this exact moment that God recognized Mr. Stubbins as having an outstanding sin which was un-atoned." Family pastor Gregory McPhearson said during a press conference outside the family home.

He adds, "I guess it is like applying for credit when you have an outstanding charged off debt. It shows up on your credit report alerting other creditors of your most recent information. I never thought God worked like that, but as far as we can now tell…it is EXACTLY how he works."

Alvin Stubbins may have realized that his time was up moments too late. As he slipped under the effects of the anesthesia his last words were reported as being, "Ooops, forgot about that one."

Leigh Stubbins, Alvin's wife was in her husband's room when the anesthesia took and heard his last words. "I thought it was an odd statement. But hindsight being 20/20 I can only assume now that his clean slate was anything but."

When asked to speculate on which sin her husband failed to atone for she lowered her head and shook it solemnly. "It could have been anything." She said wiping her tears away on her sleeve. "But if I had to guess I would say it was his raging homosexuality."

Doctors at Blessed Virgin Mary Hospital feel some responsibility but still hold strong to the fact that there was nothing they did wrong.

Speaking anonymously, an attending physician claimed: "I think if we had used a slower acting anesthesia Mr. Stubbins may have been able to ask for forgiveness. Instead, all he said was 'Oops, forgot about that one' at which point he slipped into unconsciousness. So, our fault lies only in the fact that we put him under too quick. That's all I can say, I have said too much already."

God and Science have never co-existed before; one always contradicting the other. This incident leads others to question if there is some sort of unholy alliance between God and the medical community.

"You can't tell me there is no kickback in place." Stubbin's son Alvin, JR said as he held his weeping mother to his side. "One minute Dad was here, and then he was gone, swift like a thief in the night."

God could not be reached for comment for this story. Calls to his office were not immediately returned. A receptionist for the Lord and Savior did offer, "Sometimes we overlook things. People who were supposed to be struck down years ago are walking around on borrowed time. Your number may be up but you aren't in line. "

Stubbins' family asks that until the rest of the family is in check sin-wise that all prayers be held until further notice. They are sure you understand.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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