Besides Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has also been declared the winner of Florida. Bingo! Holding the four-way Presidential election in Iran, a run off election was expected between the two top finalists, however since Ahmadinejad won in a landslide, he was immediately declared the victor by the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamene just three hours after the polls closed. The vote count was supervised by the 12-member Guardian Council.
The three other Iranian presidential candidates, (for the sake of avoiding spelling gymnastics and a migraine) will be call: Robert Redford, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. Brad and Matt were not considered front runners, but Robert Redford was suppose to win the whole enchilada in a landslide. Redford lost.
Ahmadinejad even won a majority of the vote in Robert Redford's hometown of Tabriz. That's like Ahmadinejad winning Crawford, Texas. Ole! Not too surprisingly, he also won both Brad Pitt's and Matt Damon's hometowns.
Redford's wife, a real lightening rod of a campaigner, mobilized the women's vote for her husband and women are the majority of the electorate in Iran. However, Ahmadinejad ended up also winning the majority of the woman's vote.
Suspicious and triple ticked that the election was rigged, Redford asked the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei for an investigation. The Supreme Ayatollah agreed, (after he had disagreed) and the investigation will be carried out by the 12-member Guardian Council...
Unlike Carrie Prejean, with the 12-member Guardian Council of the Supreme Ayatollah, Ahmadinejad could have won Miss California and Miss America even if he was for or against the opposite of marriage. Susan Boyle would have come in third if Ahmadinejad had competed in Britain's Got Talent. He could also win a Golden Globe and Academy Award. "I'd like to thank my barber and my tailor..."
Always alert and on top of a story, Spoof writers, (no fools they) realized that with the aid of the Supreme Ayatollah's 12-member Guardian Council, they could easily win their well deserved Pulitzer Prize and also the Nobel Prize in both Literature and Peace. Ole!
"We'd like to thank spell check, synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, Google news..."
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