Obama Hints That Venezuela May Become The 51st State

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 7 June 2009

image for Obama Hints That Venezuela May Become The 51st State
Oil Wello Numero 289430 - One of the more than 7 billion oil wells in Venezuela.

CARACAS, Venezuela - President Barack Obama met with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez about the possibility of Venezuela becoming the 51st state.

President Obama was first approached with this unbelievable proposal back in December when he attended The Annual Caracas Cascarone Hunt & Cha Cha Cha Festival.

Obama said that if President Chavez can find a way to act civilized then there is a good chance that the two nations can get along and the U.S. will allow Venezuela to provide it with oil.

Chavez said that he could not agree more and he said that he would give the United States a damn good deal and charge one-fourth what the OPEC SOB oil ragheads would charge.

The Venezuelan president added that Obama and the USA could tell the Arabian oil producing nations to all go to hell and to take every one of their friggin' stinkin' camels with them.

Obama really liked that idea, especially when he put a pencil to it and saw where if the U.S. strictly used Venezuelan oil it would drop the price at the pump down to about 89 cents a gallon.

Chavez told Obama that he respected him a lot more than he ever respected Jorge (George) Bush. He said that Bush was always saying stupid things like, "Hello my amigo I come in peace bringing you breakfast tacos, sombreros, and Santana CD's."

He added that on another visit Bush had given him a complete Topps collection of Bullfight Trading Cards.

Chavez said that on that visit Bush had confided to him that there were never any weapons of mass destruction and that it was all just a bullshit story cooked up by him Ricardo (Cheney) and Donaldo (Rumsfeld).

He said that they did it to get all of the Americanos (Americans) to think that they were the great United States saviors. Bush was a weasel. He used to call Rumsfeld a third-rate circus clown.

Chavez then told Obama that he wanted to apologize to him for calling him a "Comrade." Obama smiled and accepted his apology.

And then Obama told Chavez that he wanted to apologize to him for calling him "An overweight, chump-looking, two bit bowling ball faced pendejo (stupid ass)."

Chavez accepted his apology and gave Obama a fist bump and a high five (it looked funny seeing Chavez jump up since Obama is 6 foot 3 and Chavez is 5 foot 1).

Obama said that he wanted to also apologize for saying on "Larry King Live" that he looked like the southend of a northbound baboon.

And he offered an apology for saying that his wife, Mrs. Chavez had a moustache that a Washington state lumberjack would be proud of not to mention biceps that Governor Schwarzenegger of California would be envious of.

So as of now, President Obama will consult with Vice-President Joe Biden, Secretary of State Oprah Winfrey, and of course "The First Mama" (Michelle) about whether to make Venezuela the 51st state or not.

Meanwhile. Kelly Clarkson has announced that the title of her next album will be, "Yes, I'm Fat - But It's A Filthy Rich Bitch Kind of Fat!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more