A Long John Silvers employee/pirate, who asked to remain anonymous, used his girlfriend's strap-on dildo as a pegleg after his girlfriend broke his pegleg while using it as a strap-on dildo.
"Blimey," stated the pirate, "Me scurvy dog first mate lass scallywagged off with me pegleg and rigged it as a strap-on dildo on me poopdeck!"
The pirate was reported to have exclaimed "Shiver me timbers" when the dildo began vibrating with a vengeance as the pirate hung the jib and spilled a tray of grog on some drunken sprogs.
The pirate was tarred and feathered and forced to walk the plank, but was saved by his squiffy lass who later rigged a cat o'nine tails on him, then hornswaggled his booty.
The pirate was last reported three sheets to wind at his rope's end of her hempen halter as his lass scallywagged off with the nearest Jolly Roger she could find.