Kerry's name spelled correctly at rally

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Sunday, 20 June 2004

image for Kerry's name spelled correctly at rally
John Kerry gives a thumbs-up to sign-makers for spelling his name correctly.

DANFORTH, Ind. -- Presidential candidate John Kerry was elated on a campaign stump through the Midwest to discover that all of the signs that support him spelled his name correctly.

"Democrats in the Midwest are the worst spellers," said a Kerry spokesperson. "Before we got here they had thousands of signs that spelled John's name with a C in the front or an I at the end. Good thing we checked before our arrival."

Democratic candidates have a history of having their names misspelled in signs from Midwestern supporters.

Lyndon Johnson was supported as "Lindon Johnston," as well as Bill Clinton was "Bill Klyntin" and Mike Dukakis was "Mike Dookackis."

The Kerry spokesperson said, "We send people ahead and have them proofread all signs where the candidate's name appears."

And Mr. Kerry was excited to attend his own rally seeing his name correctly spelled. In his speech at that rally he said, "Democrats have had it with critics who claim spelling is a problem that finds its way into bills and policies when Democrats are in office. We're going to change that when we win."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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