London, England - Scotland Yard, London's finest metropolitan police since 1864, was called to the set of a BBC studio when a bloke made a threat against Miss California's life, upsetting viewers at home.
"The presence of Scotland Yard investigating the threat against one's life for their contested political views is reassuring to the public, especially when the political windsock is pointing in a new direction in favor of same-sex marriage here and now across the pond," said a public information officer for Scotland Yard.
"We want the public to know that we take all threats seriously and respond to them in kind. Justice is blind, you know. And we're here to up hold the law, showing no favoritism in our investigation," said the Scotland Yard detective, assigned to the case. "It matters not to us if that crazy homophobic bitch deserves a hole in the head or not. After all, we're all God's creatures, eh."
After questioning the man who made the threat live on the BBC, the Scotland Yard detective left.
"Right. We got what we came for," said the detective as he and his partner got into their police car. "We got a good description of the breeder. And quite frankly she shouldn't be hard to spot, as she apparently is still wearing a sash cross her chest that reads: 'Miss California', with quite possibly some Islamic inscriptions written on the back of it."
Scotland Yard says that with the information they obtained in their interview, they will seek to obtain a Temporary Restring Order against the beauty queen restricting her movements, if ever she comes to England. And issued a special firearms permit to the man that threatened her life.
"Unfortunately, it's all we can do," said the detective. "Short of shooting her ourselves, of course. But mind you, if I ever get the chance, I won't hesitate to pull the trigger. Not for a second. It will be like a belated wedding gift for my partner whom I'm happy to say, I finally got the chance to marry last year. Would you like to see the wedding photos? We exchanged vows on the white Cliffs of Dover. The view was absolutely positively spectacular."
