US pageant judge/blogger, Perez Hilton, finds people named Jesus offensive

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

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Perez Hilton taking one step forward and one giant leap backwards for the Gay Rights Movement

Hollywood, California - In an interview on the "Today" TV show infamous celebrity gossip blogger/political activist/expert beauty queen judge, Perez Hilton, said people named Jesus offend him.

Speaking on behalf of Jews, Muslims and Atheists everywhere, Hilton explained that he found Miss California US runner-up, Carrie Perjean, traditional view of marriage between a man and a woman as offensive as people named Jesus are to Jews, Muslims and Atheists.

"I know because some of my best friends are Jewish, Muslim and Atheists," said Hilton defending his comments. "Why just the other day, while I walking my dog, a very close breeder Muslim friend of mine, Baklava Falafel, came up to me and asked: 'Perez, can't you do anything about all these people name Jesus around here? They're everywhere I look. If they're not mowing lawns, they're cleaning houses or cooking at all the restaurants. Even at Canters on Fairfax."

That is when Hilton came up with the idea to form a coalition between Jews, Muslims and Atheists against people named Jesus.

"I'm not a bigot," insists Hilton. "I don't want to deport them or anything. I just want them to all legally change their names to something other than Jesus. That way, I won't be offended by them anymore."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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