Woman Says She's Not "A Piece Of Meat"

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Woman Says She's Not "A Piece Of Meat"

Samantha Neighbors of Mountain View, California is taking a construction company there to court after receiving severe dog bites and scratches from falling, which she blames on the crew.

"This all started with those moron construction workers who would not let me leave my workplace for lunch everyday without yelling crude remarks and the usual whistling and harassment", Neighbors told a judge Monday.

Then, according to those present at the hearing and the court record, Neighbors attorney had her hand the judge the photographs of her injuries.

"So", Neighbors continued, "One day I decided that if these men were going to act like I was nothing but a piece of meat, I'd wear a pork chop around my neck and march over to their boss and tell him I'd had enough and was about to take him and his crew and company to court."

"He actually apologized but on my way back to work, these stray dogs must have spotted the pork chop because all at once I was surrounded by dogs of all sizes."

"Finally, some of the construction guys got them off me but not before I was bitten several times and got these cuts and bruises while I was on the ground. But I could have been hurt worse, your Honor."

The case was laid over until June but Neighbor's attorney told a reporter that she believed her client would settle privately with the company before the case came back up.

"Meanwhile, I've asked her not to be wearing anymore pork chops."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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