HOBOKEN, New Jersey - A local prostitute has been arrested by Hoboken police for plying her trade with an illegal stimulus package.
Maraca Allegretto, 24, told police that she is just a simple, hard-working, quasi-law-abiding citizen who is trying to do her part for the nation's downward spiraling economic situation.
Police officer, Ted Flugelhorn said that he was parked at the corner of Frank Sinatra Street and Avenue Z when he observed Ms. Allegretto engaging in an engaging situation with Myron Norbert Modesto, 43, a banker from The Universal University Bank & Trust Agency.
Flugelhorn said that he walked up to Modesto's 2009 Hummer and noticed that Ms. Allegretto was checking out something that was in the vicinity of Modesto's lap.
Upon closer observation officer Flugelhorn was able to state for the record that Modesto was handing some money over to Ms. Allegretto.
Modesto admitted to Flugelhorn that he had in fact used some federal bailout money to pay for the stimulus package services of Ms. Allegretto.
As Wolf Blitzer recently reported on his program, President Barack Obama has stated in no uncertain terms that bailout money will not be used to purchase beer, cigarettes, CD's, DVD's, caviar, pedicures, or sex.
And violators will be dealth with accordingly. As the president said, "We cannot on one hand, hand out bailout money to these rich, whining corporate individuals and then sit idly by and watch as the SOB's use the other hand to hand over bailout money to some undeserving streetwalkers, sluts, strumpets, or ho's."
In other news. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is getting ready to release her fourth book. It is titled, Black Rice. In chapter 17, Rice writes that Michelle Obama may be the "First Mama" as in First Lady, but that she (C.R.) was actually the "First Mama" as in the first Black woman in the presidential cabinet.