Autism Bumper Magnets Raise Puzzle Awareness

Funny story written by Vondrook

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Due to a recent surge in magnetic bumper ribbons across the country, the "Autism Awareness" bumper ribbon has raised puzzle awareness by more than 44% in the past two years.

The Autism bumper ribbon has caught the attention of motorists with it's vibrant yellow, red, purple, green and blue puzzle pieces, making drivers ponder the fun of puzzles.

"People take puzzles for granted," said Jonathon Rivers, 29. "I mean, I know I did. But then I got stuck in traffic behind this mini-van with the Autism ribbon on it's bumper, and I thought, 'Jon, when was the last time you sat down and completed a puzzle?' And you know what, I never gave it much thought until then. Now, I'm a puzzle fanatic!"

It's true. So far, Jon has completed over 3 puzzles per month, and is not slowing down. But Jon isn't the only one. In a recent university double-blind study, 86% of Americans are more prone to buying a puzzle after seeing the Autism ribbon, as opposed to .07% who did not see the ribbon, and therefore, did not even give puzzles a thought.

Harriet Phillips, owner of the Vermont Puzzle Factory is ecstatic about the recent trend. "I am just so happy that the Autistic community has raised awareness of a once dying industry, and has now returned it to the upper echelon of American hobbies where it belongs. We are now even thinking of expanding and making pornographic puzzles which will reach a demographic we once thought was out of reach. Thanks Autism!"

On the other side of the coin, however, the Autistic Awareness community feels as though the message has somehow been lost on the American population. "It's nice that puzzles are popular again," said Jane Mendez, Chairwoman of the Autistic Awareness Board, "but Autism is a serious disorder, and everyone should know that. We are not asking for money, or any kind of charity, but we want people to be aware of Autism because...it...well... umm..."Jane refused any further comment.

Newfound puzzle fans report that they are already aware of Autism. Said William Klondike of Pasadena, "Autism? That's what Dustin Hoffman had in that movie, right?" The film Klondike is referring to is Rain Man, released in 1988, where Dustin Hoffman portrayed an Autistic man, and traveled across the country with his long lost younger brother played by Tom Cruise. Hoffman won an Academy Award for the role. After the release of the film, Autism awareness shot up nearly 90%, but has been in steady decline ever since. It seems that a mere bumper magnet cannot compete with the explosive awareness a Hoffman/Cruise tag-team can provide.

Currently, the Autistic Awareness Board is trying to push Hollywood to come out with a 23rd anniversary DVD of Rain Man in order to reestablish it's original message, otherwise it is back to calling random households across the country and making sure they are aware of Autism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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