Scientist Creates Strain Of Human AIDS Virus That Infects Monkeys

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

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Professor Lindsey Hates, Fears Monkeys Taking Over

A U.S. scientist has created a strain of the human AIDS virus that's able to infect and multiply in monkeys in a step toward testing future vaccines in monkeys before trying them in people, according to a new study.

"If monkeys ever revolt, that would be just too bad", stated 72-year-old Professor Douglas Lindsey. "Right now, we've got their balls in our watch pockets."

Asked what was a watch pocket, the professor said to "never mind".

Apparently the only side effect to injecting the monkeys with AIDS is that they are now able to type out all the works of Shakespeare, if left in a room alone.

"Oh they think they're sooo smart", stated the professor. "Let's see if one of them can come up with a strain of monkey AIDS that affects humans?"

"I've worked hard on this. I mean, since Charles Heston died, these guy think they're hot shit."

"OK! OK! So I hate monkeys, but they're the very ones who who who who who who started this AIDS thing."

"Why am I going Who Who Who? Now go away and let me eat my banana in peace before I catch up side the head with a handful of shit."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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