Aussie Blogger Uncovers the Real Hillary Clinton

Funny story written by JAB

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

image for Aussie Blogger Uncovers the Real Hillary Clinton
Hilarin Rodhaus

PERTH - Australian blogger, Vince Foster, from Mundijong has discovered some incredible things about Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The 64 year old Foster, who has a slight American accent, but claims to have lived in Mundijong his entire life, says he found this unknown side of Hillary Clinton, through various sources on the internet.

According to Foster, Hilarin Rodhaus was born on October 26, 1947 to a Walloon mother and a Flemish father, while, they were attending the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow. Both parents disappeared in 1959, during the Leopoldville riots in the Belgian Congo. Twelve year old Hilarin was flown on Trans Canada Airlines flight 1618 to Gander, Newfoundland in the spring of 1960. She entered the US at Coburn Gore, Maine, disguised - with the help of melted Hershey Kisses and Hires Root Beer -- as a member of The Girls Choir of Harlem.

The driver of the bus, William Jefferson, and his wife Chelsea 'surrogate parents' to young Hilarin - they would eventually change her name to Hillary - lived in an apartment on 127th street in Harlem. To make ends meet, Hillary would help her 'mother' on weekends at the Apollo Theater where she was a coat check girl. A singer by the name of Mary Wells was to leave a lasting impression on young Hillary, when she said, "mark my words, girl, you gonna be a great secretary one day."

Sometime in 1964 after Hillary's 'mother', Chelsea ran off with a saxophone player from the Duke Ellington Band, William took Hillary to Chicago where he got a job, through his cousin Bubba, at Wrigley Field, as a groundskeeper.Unfortunatly, during a twi-nighter he was hit in the head by a foul ball leaving him in a vegetative state at the Lewinsky Nursing Home, where he resides to this day. A Doctor Whitewater, from the nursing home befriended Hillary and arranged for her to live with he and his wife, Starr, at their home in Park Ridge. It is at this point where the official biography of Hillary Rodham begins, according to Foster.

"To the naysayers, consider two things, she married a saxophone player and the sister city of Chappaqua, NY, where she calls home, is Bruges, Belgium," says Foster.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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