Obama Delivers Fiery Speach, Waking Up Congress

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

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Congress Old-Timers Nudged Awake During Obama Speech!

Moving with remarkable speed, key lawmakers and the White House reached for final agreement Wednesday on a $789 billion economic stimulus measure designed to create millions and millions of jobs in a nation reeling from recession.

"Time's a-wasting, ayea" said Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, one of a handful of Senate moderates whose votes are crucial to the bill's passage.

As if to underscore the urgency, President Barack Obama said that if this stimulus is not passed soon, the first horse of the Apoclapse will be released, at least by next Wednesday."

"Next will come boils on the ass of every "No" voter and the CEO's of most major companies will have their jawbones turned into an ass!"

"Then frogs everywhere with their noses in the air and only getting you a table when slipped a twenty, more if you want escargo."

"Then, if not passed by the end of the month, I will be called 'Home' and leave the rest of you here on earth with your chickens roosting and shatting on your hummers."

Several Democratic officials woke up at that and said there was an informal deadline of Wednesday late evening for at least tentative agreement on an overall bill, a time that coincided with a scheduled formal meeting of House and Senate negotiators.

"No biggy', stated Senator Barney Franks with a sigh.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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