In the worst disaster ever recorded in pothole history, a semi tractor-trailer hit a pothole on 13 Mile Road in Fraser, Michigan late last night, and disappeared.
Believed to be in an area dubbed "The Pothole Triangle," located within an area that encompasses Troy, Warren, and Detroit, MI, the mysterious landmark is believed to be responsible for numerous disappearances, including several Barbie Dolls, Billy's baseball bat, numerous golf balls, many automobiles, old man Stinky and his wife Stanky, Lucy's purple ribbed dildo, at least 3 homes, and 5 businesses.
With the disappearance of the truck this morning, the number now rises to 27 vehicles that have never been recovered. Most of the human disappearances involved black people, prompting cave dweller Al Sharpton to emerge, and deliver a ripping rejoinder dubbing the pothole a "racist pit."
We asked people on nearby Engler street if they were afraid to travel in the area. One of the more colorful characters here, Harold Schlepnowski, had this to say, "Dude, I've been trying to get that frickin' pothole to suck me in for the frickin' past 3 frickin' days now, and nothing happens. I can't even commit frickin' suicide right."
Highwayologists and Potholologists quickly joined forces with Highway Patrol, and converged on the scene with state-of-the-art search equipment like sideways scanning sonar, a Hubble telescope converted for underground imaging, Flipper the dirt dolphin, a box of grubs specially trained by the State Police Academy for Insects, and a tape recorded message from Oprah Winfrey, and T.D. Jakes calling for the demons to release its victims. Officials hoped to track the truck today to temper the tedium townsfolk tell this tale to.
We will update you should any breaking news become available, or someone or something disappears again, like a republican or democrat.
