George Anthony Threatens Suicide

Funny story written by Don Fulsom

Monday, 26 January 2009


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George Anthony, father of accused killer Casey Anthony, has run away from his Ocala, Florida home and threatened to kill himself.

"I can't take it anymore; my wife is driving me nuts," shouted the short-fused white haired ex-cop married to the publicity loving family tyrant and tot mom's mother Cindy, who described the stench of death coming from the family car as just rotting pizza.

Casey is accused of murdering the tot so she could get drunk and enter hot body contests at lowlife bars in Orlando and then have sex with men she'd met in the bars or on the Internet. Neither Casey not her mother reported Caylee missing for more than a month.

"So Casey wanted to have some fun for a change, her suicidal dad told reporters after gulping down four Valiums, described by doctors as a "Biker's Breakfast" and not life-threatening."

When he fled to Daytona Beach to kill himself, George ate several pizzas and placed the remains in his car trunk in an effort to duplicate the similarity in smells of an old uneaten pizza to a dead baby.

Authorities are studying the results.

In the meantime, George declared: "I just want to get drunk, look at the ocean, swallow my Valiums, and continue to be in complete denial about my daughter's obvious guilt."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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