Parting Statement from Bush

Funny story written by Col Kurtz

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

George W. Bush, the disgraced former leader of the United States said today in a prepared statement that "he knows he will die soon and go straight to Hell."

Mr. Bush elaborated, saying "I deserve it for what I've done. Look at me. I'm just a horrible, horrible person. I betrayed my country and let a criminal cabal do whatever it wanted for eight years. I destroyed America and a good part of the world. Millions of lives were ruined because of me.

"I'm just a despicable, worthless waste of a human being. I should have never been born. My parents hate me, Dick Cheney says I'm beneath contempt, even the neo-con criminals I empowered ridicule me to my face. Not even my wife Laura has any respect for me. I'm going home to Texas to hang myself in a closet. Please don't look for me."

Sources close to the ousted criminal had no comment, but his mother, Barbara Bush, was overheard berating him, telling her son "You're nothing but a sniveling little coward. You don't have the guts to hang yourself, little mister sissy-britches. You disgust me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more