Hand Me My Pledge

Funny story written by Rebut

Wednesday, 16 June 2004

image for Hand Me My Pledge
Baring our souls?

The American Supreme Court, technically an independent body, moved swiftly to sidestep the "Pledge of Allegiance" issue.

A bench of eight judges, tasked with deciding on the constitutionality of the words 'under God", in the Pledge, found rather that the parent who filed the suit lacked locus standi.

(The writer is a specialist criminal attorney and will guide the great unwashed where possible. Locus standi here, refers to the terracing behind the goals into which Grasshoppers Zurich are scoring. The "t' is silent - but you knew that.)

But I digress.........

If we align the above, with the decision of the High Court of Justice in Israel, to allow the sale of pork in Israel then the message is clear.


Of course, it means that while the judges of America's highest court are contemplating their USS Teddy Rooseveldt and other boats, their Israeli counterparts are fearlessly tackling the settlements in Gaza...wait, this correction just in, pork is Chazza not Gaza, so it's an issue dealing with the laws of kosher rather than the in-laws living in the bondocks.

Mind you selling the in-laws into slavery about now is never a bad...but let's leave it there and return to the central issue of abandoning our beliefs at a rate of knotts (I'm developing this naval theme which runs right through - it's awfully good innit?)

Abandoning the words in the Pledge or the laws relating to eating, which have stood a good few thousand years.

Of course if we look towards the Church of England, the words gay abandon spring to mind.

It's sort of a total meltdown of the systems of religion with only Islam maintaining strict laws prohibiting a break with the past......

....and as this meltdown becomes complete, stand by for the all new totally politically correct ; First Black, First Sportsman, First Gay (may be a requirement) and confirmed atheist president of the USA.

Tiger, tiger burning bright or incense, has at least two legs and of course a couple of the requirements as well.

Surely for a pop at highest office in the world, he'd be happy to admit to being a faygela (that's gay for the goyim) and dropping a clanger or two :

"Yes Dan, I'd rather be an atheist thank God".

Of course for Lent he could give up chazza - who'd know?

Unless he visited Israel and refused a top roast leg of pork, which could cause a stir... until they remembered that he's a faygela sportsman who believes in nothing, who'd try reason with that?

At Christmas he could visit a nativity play but tell everyone that it was purely as a fop to appease the Christian voters.

Of course when he does the Pledge of Allegiance, and finishes a couple of words behind everyone else, he can always claim that he's dyslexic, which will appeal to the mentally challenged voters.

Or Soddom, as I always say.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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