Fox News Has Its Slowest News Day In 8 years

Funny story written by Mike P.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009 was the slowest day for news stories in nearly a decade for Fox News. Editor-in-Chief Charles Whiteman said, "It was just one of those days. We scoured the AP and tickers like normal, but there was just no newsworthy happenings today. We actually let some staff go home around noon after it became apparent they would be doing nothing all day."

Their primetime Studio B segment, hosted by Shepard Bush, featured a story out of Kearney, Nebraska about a deadly fungus threatening corn crops this year. And The O'Reilly factor had to switch to a re-run after viewers were subjected to Bill O'Reilly sobbing uncontrollably at his desk, a bottle of Wild Turkey in his left hand.

Mr. Whiteman did mention at one point he heard "...something was happening in Washington..." but several attempts to contact their Seattle affiliate resulted in a string of voicemails with no returned calls.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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