Burl Ives ancestor true father of our country, say historians

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Tuesday, 15 June 2004

image for Burl Ives ancestor true father of our country, say historians
Evidence says Burl Ives great, great grandad sired George Washington

WINDMILL, Va. -- Historians here at the Historian Center say new evidence reveals that an ancestor of the late celebrity Burl Ives was the true "father of our country."

C. Berkwith Pendell claims historians here have a photo of Burl Ives great, great, grandfather and documentation that he fathered George Washington, our first President.

Burl Ives, born in 1909, passed away in 1995 after a storied career as a recording artist, film and stage actor.

"There's no way now that he will know just how famous he really was," said Pendell. "If we had known this a decade ago, we would have told him."

Mr. Ives already knew that there was a theory he was related to apes, but he had no idea that George Washington was in his ancestry.

"He would have written and sung a song about it," said a family member. "And it would have been a fine song that the whole family would have been able to sing together over a dinner of pork chops and cabbage."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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