Washington,DC/ Affirmative Action Times - In breakthrough negotiations with Church leaders and Congressional Peacemakers, the NAACP stuck a deal today to allow at least 5% of Inauguration goers to be "Fair Skinned Minority- Americans, a major conciliation on the part of the Nation's most aggressive advocates for racial inequality.
The concession did not come without a price, however. Representatives from Alabama were forced to cancel their plans to send "The Azaela Trail Maids" to march in the inaugural procession. The young ladies, about 100 strong, were to wear dazzling costumes representing the antebellum south and to be attended to by 100 African American "hand maidens" responsible for guiding the trains of their long ball gowns.
Tail Maid spokesmen pleaded to deaf ears, even promising to cut the gowns to above thigh length, in order to continue the age old tradition of having the Maids stroll the parade route spreading magnolias and hush puppies along their path.
Minority spokesman Rush Limbaugh said the concession was a break through for Non African Americans, but was "just the beginning" of correcting decades of political and social abuse.
"Look at our inner cities ," he said, "when was the last time a white minority mayor had a chance to rule? It's a disgrace...we inner city minorities do have some viable candidates to propose, and most of them have never been tainted with the shadow of corruption or served time or been relegated to house arrest. All us minorities get to do is coach college and NFL football teams...we can't even get an interview to be Mayor of Detroit or Washington!"
Meanwhile, to resolve the porta potty debacle, detailed earlier in The Spoof, 250 of the 5000 porta potties have been designated for minority use, and will be painted white as part of the affirmative action accommodation.
On the weather channel, Master of Disaster Jim Cantorie has already been dispatched to the scene of the expected Urine Tsunami flooding the nation's capitol due to lack of potty facilities.
Complicating the event, is the prediction by Al Gore, that there will be an eclipse of the sun at high noon on January 20, an event he helped negotiate with Jimmy Carter, and God, as an omen for the next 8 years of Obama's rule.
Chris Matthews, hosting the proceedings said "my leg is already tingling...it's going to be chillingly spooky out there!"