Man Cuts Himself To Get Ex-Friend In Trouble

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 11 December 2008

image for Man Cuts Himself To Get Ex-Friend In Trouble
I'll get even yet!

Bill Pharris, a young man who told San Clemente, California police he was jumped and attacked with a knife apparently made up the story in an effort to get an ex-friend in trouble.

Lt. Ted Boyne said a 19-year man was arrested Thursday afternoon and booked for investigation of filing a false police report.

Police got an anonymous knifing call early Thursday and investigators followed a trail of blood to the man, who was bleeding from his hands and arms. Pharris then told investigators he was attacked by a former friend.

The lieutenant said it was later determined the man used a shard of glass to inflict the wounds on himself.

A next door neighbor told police that the young man was usually upbeat.

"He's been quite a cut-up since he moved into the area, always pulling some kind of joke but I guess he went too far this time", stated Bently Morris.

"Look at those burn marks on my concrete porch where I've stomped all those burning bags of shit out."

Police say the so-called victim was angry with his friend because he himself couldn't take a joke although he enjoyed pulling them on others, including us."

The 19-year-old Pharris refused to talk with the press, only shrugging and saying, "Well, I took a stab at it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot