Oprah and Martha Stewart Combine Sirius and XM Channels

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Oprah and Martha Stewart Combine Sirius and XM Channels
Martha and Oprah Join Forces on Satellite Radio

Insiders are labeling the new combined network "Moprah", while both influential women merge their individual channels into one single all-women's satellite radio station.

Oprah's XM channel and Martha's Sirius channel will glean the most popular features from each daily lineup, into one "powerhouse satellite radio channel" says Sirius producer Ugoda B. Kiiding.

Rollout of the new "Moprah" station was stalled due to a disagreement on official naming conventions. Oprah preferred the official name "The Oprah and Martha Channel", while Martha Stewart had lobbied for the name, "The Martha Stewart Living Channel With A Little Southside Chicago Flavor".

Producers settled the disagreement by alternating declarative station ID's featuring one star's name in front of the other, followed by "Channel". That reportedly pleased both egos and the station was launched.

Featured daily shows include:

  • "1000 Ways to Cook Celery"
  • "5 Minute Steps to a Perfect Life"
  • "You're Fat and You're OK"
  • "Men and Other Useless Tools around the House"
  • "Battery Powered Happiness"
  • "Frosting Can Be a Food Group Too"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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