Washington DC, yesterday, was the scene of events unparalleled in US political history. For a unaccounted for 41 and a half hours, President Bush was uncontactable by anyone even including his wife and family.
He stayed locked in the Oval office all that time only to emerge at the end of this mysterious interlude appearing aged, greying and sporting long sideburns with a moustache.
When advisers approached him and asked if any thing was wrong, Mr Bush declared "You know, I've seen the future and the future is.....back there."
When quizzed what did this mean, the President said "We've gotta go back, way back, back into time, like 150 years or more".
President Bush appears to have been playing with a time machine that was originally given to President Warren Harding in 1920 by science fiction writer H G Wells. The machine was banned from the White House and kept locked away, presumably, never to be handled. However, the President's curiosity got the better of him and it appears his sanity, or what little was left.
Rumours abound that Mr Bush relocated to the Battle of Gettysberg in 1863 and witnessed all the carnage of the Civil War. Pity he didn't take a bullet for the Republican cause.
