California Fires: Arnold Schwarzenegger To Put Them Out

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 16 November 2008

image for California Fires: Arnold Schwarzenegger To Put Them Out
"No problemo"

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has said in a television address that he will single-handedly tackle the fires that are ravaging the LA area, and expects to have them all out by tomorrow.

The fires, to the north, north-west and south of Los Angeles have burnt through dry forest, hitting suburban areas, destroying hundreds of homes and causing thousands to flee.

More than 800 homes, ranging from multi-million dollar mansions to shabby mobile homes have been 'terminated'.

Schwarzenegger, who starred in the Terminator movies, announced a state of emergency, and praised firefighters who have been fighting a "perfect storm" for the last three days. He also praised the film Perfect Storm, saying:

"Dat was a good movie. I saw it two times."

He told viewers, however, that, despite the supreme efforts of the emergency services, the whole of California was in danger of being terminated, and that he, himself, had decided to "take control of the situation".

Schwarzenegger outlined a number of ways by which he would tackle the fires, including stamping them out, blowing really hard, and ordering Nature to rain incessantly over the area. If anyone can do it, he can.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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