Written by Morgan Truce

Saturday, 5 June 2004

image for Donald Rumsfeld in Sex Shocker!
Rumsfeld: "I really like this!"

The Pentagon press corps was embarrassed by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's "coming out" announcement this morning at the 9 A. M. briefing. Mr. Rumsfeld, normally conservative in appearance and manner, seemed uncharacteristically at ease as he introduced Rod Sohard who stood behind him throughout the 30-minute briefing. "Ever since I was a young boy in Chicago, I was interested in firemen. Rod is quite the expert on hoses, you know..." After several members of the press ran from the room, a reporter from Defense Weekly asked if Secretary Rumsfeld had any plans to resign. "Oh no," said Rumsfeld, "I'm rather enjoying myself as you can see."

"I had to keep quiet about my gay side while I was at Princeton and later on while I was on active duty in the Navy, but now that it's near certain that my boss is going to lose his job this fall--I figured I might as well have some fun! I thought all you boys had me figured out years ago... you know... with that standing desk of mine... and all the firemen coming and going... and all those fire alarms!"

The Secretary and his friend finished up what they were doing and left the room----ignoring a smartly dressed Spoof reporter who asked, "But what about 'Don't ask, don't tell' Mr. Secretary?"


Although Mr. Rumsfeld refused comment, YOU can tell us what you think---by voting in the poll at the upper right hand corner of this page.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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