"Dr. Phil" to Stay with Wife; Hails Their Backstage Sex Life

Funny story written by Don Fulsom

Wednesday, 29 October 2008


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Contrary to regular and frequent tabloid reports, TV's "Dr. Phil" and his wife Robin are expected to stay married, it's been learned. In a world exclusive interview, the daytime TV shrink told The Spoof, "I love Robin more today than I did when we had to get married 32 years ago. I've never cheated on her much, and she's never cheated on me a lot," gushed the usually tough-talking psychologist with a Ph.D. from a shady college.

Setting the record straight, Dr. Phil (whose real name is Phil McGraw) declared that the National Enquirer was wrong when it claimed he'd had an affair with a 19-year-old student from a real college when he was 34. To that charge, Dr. Phil declares, "Oh, grow up! You're experiencing a fantasy! This is the real world. The gal was 21 by the time we first 'got it on.'"

"To be quite frank, Robin and I like to 'get it on" both before and after the show. That's why she's always in the audience," Dr. Phil revealed in our blockbuster interview. "I get huge headaches when I go without 'getting in on' for more than a few hours. And Robin is the same way. And now that we're older, not only do we cheat on each other less, but also we don't have to 'get it on' with any protection. So no Trojans for me, and no fooling around with various vaginal devices for Robin," noted the plainspoken fake doctor.

Dr. Phil also discounted a Globe report that he still prefers coeds for his extramarital affairs. "Look," he shouted, "I'd even get it on with that tot mom who stars on the Nancy Grace cable court show! I'd love to play kinky sex games with a dangerous woman like Casey Anthony, even though she's just a high school dropout, and even though I'd have to wear a rubber."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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