Britney Spears Fails To Appear For Latest Custody Hearing

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Monday, 14 January 2008

image for Britney Spears Fails To Appear For Latest Custody Hearing
He looks nothing like that cute little animal that only comes out in February

Britney failed to make an appearance at the latest custody hearing for her children, allowing her attorneys to speak in her behalf. The former Pop Princess, instead, took the occasion to help her sister Jamie Lynn shop for maternity clothing and to find a baby present for former fellow Mousketeer Christina Aguilera (she picked out a pair of pink thongs, sized 6 and 12 months).

When reminded that her and Christina did not get along, Britney replied "it's okay. She sent my kids some stuff when they were born, so I gotta do the same."

When asked why she was not at the hearing, Spears answered that "my lawyers said that I had a better chance of seeing my kids again if the judge didn't have to look at me. I offered to take him back in his chambers, hike up his robes, and bang his gavel for all it was worth, but they said I should wait on that in case we got a female judge or something."

While at the mall, Britney actually went into a bookstore! She said that she was "looking for some book by that Phil guy who tried to talk to me last week. The only books I found about Phil were these cute ones about this groundhog in Pennsylvania that only comes out once a year. I don't think they're about the same guy, cuz the doctor was bald and fat and the animal is little and furry."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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