Severed Finger Makes News and a Commercial

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 27 October 2008

image for Severed Finger Makes News and a Commercial
Director Chin Wei Dempnstrates the Gesture for Mr. Bephore

Following a freak accident at a local men's club triggered by launched ping pong balls and a broken whiskey bottle, Mr. Ben 'Lucky' Bephore, a Washington D.C. resident was rushed to a local hospital with a detached middle finger from his right hand secured in a zip-Lock bag.

Though the feature act on stage, Ms. Bunny Shotz, was taking care not to injure anyone in the audience, her unique way of firing ping pong balls into the crowd was also the reason Mr. Bephore was struck squarely in the eye. His natural reaction was to throw his head backwards causing him to lose his balance. Bephore instinctively reached out towards the bar to stop his fall, but his hand landed on a broken whiskey bottle from a previous scuffle, and his middle finger departed the company of the other four.

Making local news instantly, the doctors praised the club's actions as they alone were the reason the finger could be saved. "They rinsed it immediately and put it in a clean Zip-Lock bag for transport to the hospital. It was a simple reattachment procedure after that." Taking advantage of the publicity, the bag manufacturers hired award winning Chinese director Chin Wei, to film a commercial featuring Mr. Bephore and his re-born right hand. Using the new product slogan, "Raise your hand if you're Glad", the filming was completed in only 2 days and will hit U.S. television markets this week.

The commercial features Mr. Bephore holding a bloody plastic bag in his left hand, while raising his right hand with reattached finger pointed upwards. Apparently nobody had explained to Mr. Wei how this specific hand gesture might be offensive in the U.S.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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