Written by Warren Redlich

Thursday, 9 October 2008

image for Plaxico Burress Endorses Toothbrush
Looking for Plaxico Burress and his toothbrush

NY Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress inked a toothbrush endorsement deal Wednesday. Aural-C has a new model that will sell in the US under the name Plax-Burr.

Company spokesman Donald T. Rump said that Burress is the ideal front man for the new brush. "This brush is great for lazy but talented people. If you're the kind of guy who can goof off for most of the week and then show up at the right moment and do the job anyway, then the Plax-Burr is for Plaxico and you!"

The Plax-Burr is designed with the regular Joe in mind. Aural-C has identified a significant market segment that brushes once or twice a week. The new brush has burrs on the edge of the brush that help take off large chunks of food, fecal matter, and plaque.

The player's agent, Roland Incash, said that Burress is happy about the new deal. "This will help pay for his next yacht, and soothe the pain of his recent suspension." Burress will be paid $500,000 up front, and will also get 50 cents for every toothbrush sold.

Plaxico Burress could not be reached for comment as he was not at practice again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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