Senate Approves 25 Billion More for George W. Bush's War

Funny story written by Chuck Terzella

Thursday, 3 June 2004

image for Senate Approves 25 Billion More for George W. Bush's War
" Guess where this usually is."

The United States Senate has approved President George W. Bush's request for an additional twenty five billion dollars to fund the war in Iraq. While President Bush had asked for the entire amount to be discretionary, meaning that he could piss it all away in any fashion he chose, the Senate, who has gradually been regaining it's sanity since 9/11, has let him have fun with only two billion dollars preferring to oversee the spending of the rest. Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " Well, Halliburton's a little ticked off; they were hoping for at least four billion which may now have to go to actually buy the troops stuff like bullets and body armor, but over all we did OK. It's great to make a mistake and make someone else keep paying for it."

The Republican led Congress is preparing to be even more stringent, allowing the President only one billion to fool around with. Waterhouse, when told of the news responded, " You've gotta be kidding, one billion is nothing! What's with those guys (the Congress) anyway? Don't they know we have Iranian spies to fund? The Iraqi National Congress alone cost us over three and a half million a year. We needed those guys to spy on Iran for us." When told that the Iraqi National Congress was actually spying on us for Iran Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of more anonymity said, " Wait, that can't be right. We were paying them to spy on us? That's just stupid. Who thought that one up?"

In other Presidential news, George Bush has hired a private attorney, James Sharp, to advise him regarding the investigation into the Valerie Plame/CIA outing scandal. Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of lots and lots of anonymity said, "We want the American people to know that the President's retention of legal consul in no way implies that he is a lying, cheating, traitorous prick, but you'd have to be crazy after what the Republicans did to Clinton to not keep a big legal gun handy, just in case this Plame thing comes back to bite him."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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