Sarah Palin admits to Almost Winning the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes

Written by Jeff Brone

Monday, 29 September 2008

image for Sarah Palin admits to Almost Winning the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes
This guy won it once.

Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin, who has championed herself as an opponent of "good old boy" politics and abuses of the system, was recently uncovered as "having come close to winning the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes" several times.

In a recent interview, Palin stated that she has received numerous letters, marked as important, and explaining that she "may have already won" the sweepstakes, an honor that one has to wonder about, given her high status as governor of Alaska.

A spokesman for the Governor said that "although she has received the letters, she has never actually won the prize." This did little to calm the suspicions of the press, as it is widely known that her letters came by "Official: Important" mail service, as marked directly on the letters, a type of service usually reserved for high ranking government officials and rock stars.

The people of Alaska were quick to come to her defense, although some were not so enthusiastic. One Macdonalds employee, who asked to remain anonymous, said that when Palin visited the restaurant last month, her milkshake was supersized free of charge, as requested by the manager. "What astounded me was that she accepted it." said the employee who then asked "Isn't that illegal, something about the separation of restaurants and state, if I know my reconstituted bill of rights?" The employee was not available for further comment, as it was his day to make up the special sauce.

It has also been revealed that Palin found a rabbit's foot in a local hardware store a few months ago, and the manager told her "she could just keep it." One Alaska resident said "That's just wrong. We expect more from our elected officials. What if someone was sick and needed his rabbit's foot for good luck?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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