Palin Opens Up Before St. Louis Debate!

Written by Natowsky

Monday, 29 September 2008


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Palin will show more breasts from vacation photo to satisfy gawkers, but will not show any nipple at this time

VP Debate Bulletin - Sen. Joe Biden from Delaware and Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, the vice presidential nominees of the Democratic and Republican parties, respectively, will debate each other at 8 p.m. (CDT) on October 2 in Washington University's St. Louis Athletic Complex.

The subject will be foreign affairs - An area in which Palin is considered 'totally dumb'.

We were able to obtain comments from Palin which exemplify her positions in this critical election:

  • I can see the Soviet Union from my kitchen window.
  • I even saw a Soviet...I mean Russian Mig swoop down in Wasilla! I have sighter cards. I called the Army recruiting office, but they said get lost! That was rude.
  • I have looked at the the latest Rand-McNally map book of the World over and over. The World is sure big! Wow! That Afghanistan and Iraq thing are tough stuff...and terrorists are sneaking in everywhere. The Texas border needs more of that Lone Ranger guy! Forget his Indian pal.
  • I've eaten ethnic...even Chinese Szechuan. It was hot!
  • Todd once snuck into Soviet...I mean Russian waters; there was no marker line. How come?
  • Putin wants to meet me for an overnight visit to show me some Russian sites. Todd said that is 'too' internal-national! Get it?! He's a joker! What did he mean?
  • Banded birds from Rusia have landed on my lawn one time. I shot them all! I mean they're communists, right?
  • I will address why men look at my crossed legs and try to see my nipples everytime we have an interview. Even that Kissinger was staring at my tits for 90 minutes. I swear it! I'm not imagining it. I'm not a hottie librarian either! All this will come out at the St. Louis debate and, also, why I carry a shotgun in my truck. So, I like to shoot animals. It's a rush, like having an orgasm. These suspicions and quirks have been cleared by McCHhaaaaane as fodder for talk in debating with wise-assed Senator Biden.
  • I will not be outmoosed. We say that in AK. It's too cold for those varmint foxes, anyway! And, moose are not political...just dumb! They just stand there and I blast 'em.
  • Forget that Katie Couric interview. I had a problem with my panythose. I know you guys have that butt crack thing, so we're even.
  • And my running mate, John McCHaaaaayne, was tiger caged for over 5 years by those gooks! I just hate 'em now. He told me all the details. And, that's Southeast Asian foreign policy!
  • I multitask with a Blackberry, do cooking by remote, take care of the kids and Todd, and read about countries on the CIA Website, as I get free time during campaigning.
  • C'mon Biden! You're a plagiarist, so I have that on you. McCHaaaaaaaayne told me to use that.
  • I'm ready for the deeebate. Bring on that Moose Biden and I'll blow him to smithereens!

Well, there you have possible VP Sarah. We understand Cindy McCain will provide free Bud Light for the candidates, as they go at each other.

C 2008 VP Debate Bulletin

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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