Washington DC (IPP) - The investigative arm of the Republican Party has issued a new set of talking points to its members via email that claims that Obama is a cannibal.
The cannibalism assertion is based on the discovery of a book written by Obama that has only recently been deciphered. The book's title: "To Serve White People" has been easy enough to understand because it was written in plain English. Today agents working for the Republican party deciphered the rest of the book which had been written in a strange language having no words in common with any other known language.
The book has been compared to a Twighlight Zone episode where aliens land on Earth with the promise of fixing all of mankind's problems. The Earthlings realize only too late that the title of an alien book book: To Serve Mankind actually means to serve mankind as food on a menu.
The same exact thing applies to Obama's book according Republican officials who were suffering from the backlash of Edwards sex scandal and how it brought to light that fact that McCain also had an affair.
Despite its dark side Obama's book also has some humorous moments like the chapter on cannibal etiquette where the question, "Should lettuce be eaten with the fingers ?"... is answered with, "No, the fingers should be eaten separately."