Yogi Dies In Rope Mishap

Funny story written by Chuck Barber

Friday, 21 May 2004

image for Yogi Dies In Rope Mishap
Yogi Mahesh Hajalmar Sohnson Relaxing Before Swallowing Rope

(Bangawash, Indiana) Yogi Mahesh Hajalmar Sohnson died yesterday due to complications from ingesting eighty feet of rope. Mahesh Sohnson, Adept of the Seventh Level and Sadhu, was swallowing the rope in order to clean his internal digestive organs.

Advanced yoga adepts are able to swallow specially treated hemp rope then "floss" their digestive tract. The maneuver, known as the Dalwa Bengt is extremely dangerous and can only be practiced successfully by Seventh Level Adepts and those standing higher.

Normally, the rope flows through the intestines with no problem, however, Sohnson experienced problems with ileocaecal valve which joins the large and small intestines.

Doctor Elton Knuffel, attending physician said the tragedy did not have to happen. "Mr. Sohnson used a nylon boat rope instead of the preferred hemp Yanam rope which is more appropriate for the procedure. Nylon always sets off the ileocaecal valve. It's the worst thing you can use if you're swallowing rope. Even if you get the rope out you've damaged the valve and your system will never evacuate properly again. You'll fill right up."

Yogi Mahesh Hajalmar Sohnson was 147 years old at the time of his death.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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